Connecting with the real you

Reading the title, you must be wondering what that thing is which connects you to the real you. We have observed that throughout playing different roles in life, we tend to forget who we are. Sometimes things which we considered so necessary starts slipping from our routine, and we evolve as a different person altogether.

Our mind goes through a lot of emotions ranging from positive one’s like feeling joyful, inspired, hopeful to negative ones like anger, fear, loneliness etc. And we hardly do anything to take care of our mind.

On the other hand, physical Health too gets neglected in the daily grind. And here comes into picture the foremost crucial thing in life your -Health, without which life, goals, money, love, family, career, and anything else does not hold any meaning.

When I say Health, I mean mental and physical Health as Health is incomplete without either of these. This article aims for women and those men, who feel they hold some responsibility for the women in their life. I intend to bring to light a pattern which I have seen in most women despite them being a homemaker or a working woman.

Life of a Woman, by and large, revolves around her family, i.e. her partner and her children. Different stages pass by, and children move from Infant stage to toddlers, kids, teenage and adulthood. And then they gradually move with their spouse. Even the partner is busy with his career, goals and aspirations. But in this entire process, the Woman continues to keep everyone at the centre stage of her life. She yearns for attention from both the partner and children and always tries to keep her hobbies, interests, career as the last option.

It’s a standard view to see a wife running around her partner to feed him fresh fruits, but how many times have you seen a woman taking care of herself and eating at least one fruit or exercising daily?

Exercise is a fantasy for most Woman, and they find no time to accomplish that dream ever. Some try to stick to a routine for a short period, but due to lack of dedication and motivation, it hardly lasts for a few days.

And if Woman is not able to pay attention to something that they can see, i.e. their physical Health, where is the time on this earth to think about something which is not visible –“your mental health!”

I am not saying to stop paying attention to your family and become self-centred, but try to live your life in a way that brings contentment, meaning and identity for you. Keeping a mindful approach towards life will help you become powerful and carry on your life even when everyone around you is busy with their lives. Otherwise mostly what we see is that at this stage, women feel ignored, aimless, and they slowly start slipping into depression. As the whole motto of life was serving family and now when that family is busy with their lives, the goal is lost and you have nothing to do. Working Woman as well as homemakers both go through this.

Below are some points which I strongly feel should be able to create an anchor for you to stay firm when trying times arrives.

1. Create a routine for yourself. Yes, you need to take care of everyone, but first, it should start with you. Have a schedule of wake up time, sleep time, mealtime, and exercise time. And do everything to stick to this routine. If you need help from a family member to follow this schedule, don’t hesitate, ask for help. If you are working, you need to adjust your routine accordingly, like putting exercise time before or after office as per your working hours.

2. Keep learning something new. Whatever interest you, try to join a class or use an online course but learn something new. It does not need to be every day but at least once or twice a week, which will help you build your confidence level.

3. Maintain a book of good thoughts. I.e. whenever someone says something good about you, note it down. Don’t let it go from your memory. And the time when you are feeling a little low, you can read this book. You will see it will make you smile and remind you how much you are loved. Reading the appreciations of all the excellent work you have done will encourage you. Keep you motivated and make you realize your inner strength and how far you have travelled.

4. An essential aspect is your social life. Never give up an opportunity to go out keeping household chores as a reason. Work in the house never ends, and if you keep postponing your social connect cause of this, it isn’t helping you be happier in life. Being working Woman, when the weekend arrives, all we want to do is finish all household work. So we need to be careful here that we maintain a balance of it and keep time to go out and meet people.

5. People reading this may be in different stages of their family life. If you are at the beginner level, don’t stop keeping in touch with your friends. If they are in the same city, please take out some time to meet them once a month at a minimum. If they are away, do video calls, write emails, WhatsApp, and do everything you can to keep the bond alive. Having friends to talk is a blessing; also, it will help you remember what you were before and having friends to whom you can talk your heart out will keep you happy from inside. Friends are your support system, and you need to keep working on it.

If you have already lost contact with all your friends, don’t lose hope. You can start all over again. Try to build connections with any contacts you have and slowly you can reach out to other friends too.

Your friends will respond to your efforts, and you can start building your circle again. It won’t happen immediately, but over a period, you will see that you have at least a few one’s to share your thoughts.

6. Put something positive in your mind every morning when you get up. It can be a prayer, affirmations, any Stotra, anything which will increase your belief in a happy life.

7. Do things you like even if it’s only for 10 mins, but do it.

If you like dancing, put music and do that when you get that 10 mins. Singing, writing, painting, craft whatever is your choice do it for some time daily. For a working woman, you can choose a quiet time when kids sleep.

8. Working Women can work on finding more relaxation time for themselves to re-energize themselves. Homemakers can work on figuring out their interest area and start working on them. If you are a person who loves cooking, you can begin with cooking classes. Class does not mean you need to have many people; it can start with one person. If you are aware of technology, you can start recording videos and upload it. Think about how you can use your talent and make it your identity. Like gardening, quilt making, Krosha work, Rangoli designs, stitching, writing, baking, art, sketching, Mehndi, jewellery making, embroidery, card making and the list is endless and so are your opportunities.

I hope these eight points help you knit a beautiful tomorrow.

If we keep suppressing the actual person inside us and fail to listen and connect to the real you, the outcome can be much severe.

If we don’t take care of our mind as well as body, we are going to get affected. Poor Health is not only going to make us unhappy but also it will profoundly impact our mind. And finally, all these will contribute to increasing our dependency on others. And this will eventually lead us to something which scares all of us and which we never want to hear- that we become a burden to people around us, even if these are the people who love us! Yes, so start standing up for yourself and get control of your well-being. If you want it, you will be able to do it!